|Out for a walk with Jenea when she visited over the weekend|
My mood continued as I walked to work despite carrying on a great conversation for much of the walk. Three times kids asked me for money-not a profoundly unusual circumstance, but it bothered me far more this day. Instead of being friendly, I found myself snapping at them in Sesotho saying I did not like their question.
|The start of a knitting group in the village|
Despite my dissatisfaction with everything, especially myself, on Tuesday morning, I cannot help but appreciate that feeling as overcoming it has apparently reawakened me. As much as I appreciate being positive most of the time, it seems that I need the slumps like Tuesday's to rejuvenate my ability to look around me and celebrate the opportunity I have been given to live and work here.
Back when I was sailing, I remember vividly the first moment I groaned aloud, "Oh darn, I was hoping for thunderstorms so we would not have to do that sail today..." It was jarring to realize that something I loved so much, something so many people envied me for doing, had become exactly what it was: my job. Admittedly a job I loved for many years, but still a job, something I had to do. Tuesday morning felt much the same. All I wanted was to sit in a big comfy chair with a few of my best friends back in America. I do not actually want to come home yet, if forced to for some reason, I would be kicking and screaming the whole twenty plus hour journey. However, at that moment in time, all I wanted was the comfort of familiarity, my mother tongue, and a cozy chair. Living here is still an adventure, but it is definitely life and not a vacation. As such, I should probably learn to forgive myself for a bad morning every few months.
And for the moment at least, I am ecstatic to have rediscovered the perspective to celebrate every moment again.
|My brother Polao and me after looking at ALL of my photos on the walls, camera, and phone!|
|The most amazing and fragrant short lived flowers I have found in Lesotho thus far.|